Saying something stupid
by duckmadgirl
Summary: sometimes we all say something stupid.
1. prologue

Kate walked over the gangway and up the quay. They had docked several hours ago and after sorting out their passengers she could finally leave. She just wanted to go home and hide under the covers for the rest of shore leave.

"Kate!" Mike called running over the gangway towards her "wait" he called

Turning she pulled her sea bag up on to her shoulder "leave me alone Mike I am not in the mood" she sighed. He was the one she wanted to hide from. She turned and began walking away from him.

"Kate. Please" he called after her. "i love you" he stepped closer to her

His words were ripped by the wind stopping her in her tracks. Slowly she turned around, he was right behind her

"what did you say?" she whispered.

"i said. I love you" he whispered, there was barely a hairs breath between them.

"why do you keep doing this to me. It's not fair Mike, my heart can't take it anymore" she blinked back the tears that were starting to fall.

"Kate." he whispered "I..." he began unable to find the words. Placing his hand on her cheek he slowly brushed his thumb along her cheek bone wiping away the tears that were staining her cheeks. She let out a sharp intake of breath leaning in to his hand. How could something that was so wrong feel so right. she could feel his thumb brush across her lips and he leaned in, she could feel his warm breath on her face.

Pulling away she turned her head "I cant do this" she stammered turning and running up the dock leaving mike to watch as she disappeared in to the darkness.

Stopping to catch her breath she leant against her car. How could he be like this after all that had happened in the last 72 hours. After all he had done. After all he had said

**so this is my new fic and I have had the song saying something stupid (like I love you) in my had despite not actually listening to it until I started writing. this is set around season 4 ransom. the next few chapters will show what happened leading up to this moment then I may write about the fall out from these events. anyway enjoy and let me know what you think **


	2. Chapter 1

**72 hours earlier **

Kate sat on her rack staring straight ahead hoping for the best. Reaching over she pulled open the little draw on her desk and pulled out her diary. Flicking back through the pages she tried to figure everything out she didn't even know how she could have missed 2 periods; she had been feeling rotten for a few weeks but had put it down to stress and how busy they had been over the last few weeks.

The alarm on her watch began to peep alerting her to the fact the time was up taking a deep breath she pulled the pregnancy test she had just taken. Closing her eyes this could change her life forever. Counting to three she was just about to look when there was a knock at her door. Stuffing everything under her pillow.

"yeah" she called looking up to see Dutchy opening the door

"you coming X" he smiled "you don't want to miss out on all the fun"

Her eyes fell on to her pillow before looking back up at Dutchy "umm yeah I just need to get changed" she smiled looking down at her DPNUS.

"well hurry up. It's not often we get to chill around a pool in a luxury resort "he smiled "you okay?" he asked noticing she seemed on edge

"fine" she forced a smile. "nothing that sitting by the pool soaking up the sun and a good book won't cure, anyway I need to get changed so..." she closed the door on him leaning back against it she didn't want to seem rude but she wasn't in the mood for chit chat.

Changing in to her swimming costume she pulled over a simple maxi dress. Looking in the mirror she decided it was as good as it was going to get. She needed to clear her head and sitting by the pool would help with that. Glancing over at her rack it was like what was under her pillow was calling to her. Outside she could hear 2 dads being his usual loud self. Opening her door, she stood watching.

"2-dads" she walked towards him "please can you remember that we are representing the Navy and there will be other families at this resort."

"Ma'am?" he asked confused

"stop being so loud and obnoxious. It's a few days R&R" she smiled turning reaching back in to her cabin picking up a black floppy hat and a bag.

The resort they were visiting was a tropical Paradice bathed in sun. Palm trees all around and the sound of fun heard all around. Taking a seat on a sun lounger under a parasol. The sun was beating down and was gloriously hot. Reaching for her book she pulled her sunglasses over her eyes. Most of the crew were splashing around in the pool.

Looking over the tops of her glasses she caught Mike staring from the other side of the pool. Trying not to look at him sat in his swimming trunks she tried to keep her attention on her book but it was too much to bear. She could feel his eyes on her. Reaching for her phone she began texting him

'stop _staring. I am trying to relax and read' _

A response came back almost instantly '_I can't help it if you are so distracting' looking_ up he knew that would annoy her

Reading his message, she rolled her tongue across her lip '_didn't your mother tell you it was rude to stare.' _she looked over her glasses to see what his response would be. She saw him grinning as he read her message.

'_who says I was staring at you. I was looking at the architecture' _he smiled as she saw her reading his response. She was so easy to wind up

'_i_ _am going back to my book and it would please me if you would stop being annoying' _she placed her phone back in her bag and tried to get back in to her book but it was no good she was too flustered and distracted by Mike looking at her.

Dropping her hat at the end of her lounger she turned herself to find a more comfortable position to read in. Yawning the warmth of the sun was making her sleepy especially as she was sat doing nothing. Her book fell from her hand and her head drooped.

She awoke with a start she didn't know how long she had been asleep but she looked up to see a little girl of about 8 standing over looking down at her.

"hello" Kate smiled looking up

Shocked the little girl dropped the ice cream she was holding with it landing in Kates lap.

"oh" she gasped as a woman ran and began wiping at Kate with a towel.

"i am so sorry" the woman said before turning to the little girl. "Mia what do you say"

"Can I have my ice cream back" Mia called

Rolling her eyes, the woman sighed "no you say I'm sorry"

"sorry" Mia said shyly

"its okay" Kate half laughed as she placed what was left of the ice cream back on the cone before she was sent on her way.

"Kids!" the woman half laughed "you got any? fussing over Kate wiping her stomach

"uh no" Kate smiled politely her mind back on her pillow on her rack and what she hid under there

"want one I've got one going cheap." she laughed "i'm Fiona" the woman held out her hand still in 'mum fussing mode'

"Kate" Kate smiled politely

Fiona was eventually led away by her husband who persuaded her Kate was there to relax and didn't want to be disturbed.

Looking up she caught Mike glancing over at her a smile growing across her face. Pulling her phone back towards her

'_what you laughing at Flynn' _she text pulling her sunglasses over her head knowing how much It got to him when she looked over them.

She watched as he picked up his phone from the little table next to him, she could see him chuckling as he typed so it was clearly going to be a response that would annoy her 'you, what was that all about'

'_nothing the kid just dropped her Ice cream on me and her mum went in to full mum mode'. _she hit send looking over as he read it, she watched as he chuckled and typed his response which pinged through in seconds.

"_it's getting too crowded and loud. Fancy getting out of here" _

She was just about to send a response when she looked up to see he had moved. her eyes followed as he walked round the pool and past her. Looking over the tops of her glasses she watched as he walked past grinning. Trying not to show any emotion but she could feel her heart racing in her chest like it did every time he was near her.

Looking at the pool, the rest of the crew were too busy looking over the cocktail menus and larking around to notice if she had slipped away. Gathering her things, she dropped them in to her bag. She took her time knowing he was waiting she wanted him to wait. Walking up the steps she saw him lent against the wall.

"so, I thought we could go for a bite to eat and see where we go from there" he grinned snaking his arm around her waist pulling her close.

"mike" she whispered aware that any one of the crew could walk around the corner at any time but she didn't resist.

The resort had lots of different restaurants so finding one where they could be together alone and not having to worry about being found out was going to be easy. Once they had eaten, they walked along the beach with the sun beginning to set if felt so normal like there was nothing to stop them from being together.

Allowing him to take her hand in his she smiled. "i don't think I want this R&R to end" she sighed. It would make everything similar and they could just be together without having to worry about the regulations. She knew she needed to talk to him and now was the best opportunity they may not get another chance once they were back on Hammersley.

"You ever thought about having kids" she asked picking up a pebble throwing in to the water

"ha" he laughed it came out of the blue "honestly?" he asked

"yeah" Kate looked at him. This was not the response she was hoping for

"not really. You?" he replied seeing it was not the answer she had been looking for

"yeah" she shrugged "I've thought about it" she stopped "Mike I need to talk to you about something..." she stopped. They were interrupted by the mother of the little girl from earlier begging for help

"please help me. They have taken her" she said breathlessly "Mia!" she screamed

"what's happened who's taken her" Kate tried to get the information.

Their eyes fell on a speedboat heading along the shore at speed disappearing in to the distance

"she's on the boat?" Kate looked at Mike both knowing this would but a dent in their R&R.

Running up the beach Mike turned to Kate "you get the crew back to Hammersley and I will contact NAVCOM.

"Mike!" she called "I need to talk to you" she trailed off as he disappeared heading towards the ship.

**so hope you enjoy. the dialogue is a mix of my own and reworded from what was said in the show. (the website I use with the scripts had gone down so isn't as accurate as I would like) hope you like it anyway and please let me know what you think. xx **


	3. Chapter 2

Standing in her cabin she looked herself up and down in the mirror pulling her uniform back on. This was not how she wanted her R&R to end and everyone else had been so miffed it had ended but eager to help, no one liked it when a child was involved in these things. Pulling on her uniform she sighed they had to find that girl. She had to find her if it was the last thing she was to do.

Slowly she walked through the ship and up to the bridge. The sun had completely set and the harbour outside was just visible. From the radar she could see there were dozens of yachts and boats all in the harbour but none of them were heading away at speed.

"they could already be beyond our range" Mike sighed. It was a long shot and unlike the speed boat Hammersley wasn't built for speed.

Looking at the screen "They could have cut their engines and be hiding amongst the pleasure craft, perfect hiding place" he called

"yeah but that's like looking needle in a haystack." charge turned looking at the amount of boats out there and that was just the ones they could see. It would be beyond a longshot

"she is such a small girl; we can't just sit and do nothing" Kate said. It was like the others had given up.

"well the cops haven't had any luck." Mike turned "so I am open to any suggestions X" he said

"we could launch the RHIBS take a look around the harbour" she replied trying to make it sound like it was a good idea. Trying to convince her self it would work. She knew it was a long shot but they and to try. She didn't want to do nothing and she knew the odds were not good cases like this rarely ended well.

"I'll come with you X" charge called following her down off the bridge

Heading down the steps Kate made her way to the boarding room to grab her life jacket. She stopped as she lifted it from the cupboard. Closing her eyes as If in prayer.

"you okay X, you just seem a little distracted with this one" charge asked placing a hand on her shoulder

"I'm fine" she sighed trying not to let her emotions flow. "she is just so young. I saw her round the resort this morning" she turned to face her friend. "she threw her ice cream over me, by accident" she half laughed. "we have to find her"

"we will X. we won't stop till we do" charge reached out squeezing her hand

"thanks Charge" she smiled.

They both knew it was a pie crust promise one that couldn't be kept. They couldn't know not for sure.

The RHIB's bounced across the harbour looking at every possible boat they could but none of them matched the vessel that took Mia. Everyone returned deflated and in despair. it wasn't the result they wanted. There were over 100 boats in the harbour on account of it being high season.

Kate walked through the corridors as if on auto-pilot. She had hoped she was wrong and they would find the girl.

"X you should eat something" Bomber called from the galley pointing to the sandwiches and soup she had made up for the returning boarding party

"no thanks I am not hungry" she whispered "thanks for your help everyone" she walked in to the ward room shutting the door behind her. She had just got back from talking with Fiona. Pulling a glass off the side she filled it with some water.

The door opened and mike popped his head around

"X Swain said you might be in here" he smiled "you alright?"

"just got a bit of a headache" she said blinking back the tears as she swallowed the painkillers.

"how did go with the mother?" mike asked

"having to tell her we couldn't find her little girl was awful" she said trying to keep it together

"that would be the worst thing about having kids. The fear you could lose them" he watched her. He could see it was affecting her "my mum lost me once"

"really?" she looked up at him. After all they had been through over the years, she was still learning new things about him. "what happened?"

"we were on the bus and she got off turned to get me but the driver had already driven off. The other passengers screamed at him. He pulled over in the next stop. It was a few minutes but I still remember how tight she held on to me"

"yeah but she got you back" Kate whispered looking in to his eyes. "i think I may go and lie down for a bit. I need to shift this headache" she edged around him towards the door.

Reaching out he gently took her hand as she walked passed, "Kate we will find her" he whispered

"i hope so" she whispered closing her eyes. Her heart was beating fast and she could feel his thumb tracing patterns on her knuckles.

"Kate" he whispered standing up in front of her, wishing he could take away the thing that was making her feel so down.

"don't please" she whispered pulling away she couldn't do with him being kind like this if she took it in, she felt as if she would completely crumble and she had kept it together until now. "goodnight Sir" she whispered walking out.

Heading in to her cabin she shut the door and was glad of the peace and quiet. Leaning back against the door she had so hoped they would have found Mia. Walking over to her rack she sat down, pulling her boots off she curled up. Pulling the box and her diary from under her pillow she chucked them on to the desk, she couldn't think about any of that now, she just wanted to find Mia. It took her ages to get to sleep and when She eventually drifted off to sleep but her dreams were invaded with Mia's face popping up looking scared and pleading to be saved. She tried to block it out but it was impossible all she could think of was how scared Mia must be alone and in the dark.

By morning more news had come in from NAVCOM. Mia's biological father was the main suspect and considering he had liquidated all of his assets and done a runner then it was highly likely he was involved in the kidnap of his own child. Coast watch had spotted his boat which had been picked up by satellite in Hammersley's sector so the feds asked if they could take a look. Taking the co-ordinates form RO an imputed them in to the charts.

"Steer 1-4-9" she called taking her seat in the captain's seat looking out to sea. She hoped that they would find the boat and be able to get to it in time. If he was involved at least she was with her father. He wouldn't harm his own daughter no matter how desperate he was would he?

**so I have decided to split up the search for Mia in to 2 chapters not the original one that I planned as there is so much and was getting bogged down with this and a little lost. anyway hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think. xx **


	4. Chapter 3

When they did eventually catch up with Wantha Kate couldn't have been further from the truth. At first, he denied all knowledge of anything to do with his daughters' disappearance although he did have some strong words about the Australian justice system for taking his child away from him. As it transpired, he had been contacted by a gang offering to get his daughter back, for a price.

Unfortunately for them Dutchy knocked Mr Wantha unconscious. He was going for a gun but it was a little too enthusiastic. It was far from what they needed.

"time is running out and we need to find a replacement to make the exchange" Mike sighed looking form Dutchy to Kate.

"I'll do it" Dutchy stepped forward.

"very good. We will give you as much protection as we can but when you make the exchange you will be on your own" Mike said

"I should be the one to do it Sir" Kate called stepping forward

"I need you here X" mike said not looking her in the eyes.

"Sir with Respect they are going to be expecting Wantha and if he..." she began

"X you could hardly pass for Mr Wantha" he chuckled to him self

"no but a woman is less likely" she began

"that's enough" he cut her off "we are wasting time. Dutchy get ready"

Stepping in front of him "can I have a word" she hissed

Walking in to his cabin she turned as he shut the door. "when they see its not Wantha then they are going to freak"

"well hopefully they will be more interested in the jewels." Mike tried to reason with her.

"but what if they are not. What if they start shooting?" she wasn't going to back down. Mia's life was in danger.

"that is my point. This is dangerous. Dutchy..."

"no. A woman is less likely to give them cause for concern" she began

"no" he shook his head

"no. Really. You really don't think so" she said. It was starting to become clear as to why he was being like this.

"i don't know. Maybe. But we have no idea with what we are dealing with..." he sighed

"Sir Mia's safety has to be our priority"

"i know but what if something happened to you" he reached out to take her hand

Backing away she pulled her hand out of his reach. "no. Don't do this not now. You came back on the ship. You made that choice. You could have told knocker about us but you didn't. You can't make it about us now you feel like it" she said trying not to cry.

"it doesn't change the way I feel about you. If something happened to you, I would never forgive myself" he said

"this is my job. I am the only logical choice for this and you know I am" she closed her eyes

Thinking about it for a moment he sighed she never was one to back down until she had won and they were running out of time. "fine but Dutchy goes with you"

"no way. He is the reason we are in this mess. I can't trust him"

"he is the one person you want with you in a fight"

"no" she shook her head

"Dutchy goes with you or you don't go at all"

Looking up in to his eyes she could see he was serious and he was going to be the one to stand his ground. There was no point in arguing. Especially as she wasn't going to win. She nodded in agreement.

"just promise me you will be careful" Mike said taking her hand as she left

She nodded softly pulling her hand away "i need to get changed" she whispered heading out.

Mike stood on the deck watching as the little inflatable slowly bounced out of sight. He hoped that she would be okay. he knew deep down she would she was a fantastic officer and could handle herself in most situations.

Things went from bad to worse. Wantha neglected to mention a dye pack in the bag of cash which conveniently exploded over one of the kidnappers. With the commotion it caused Kate seized her opportunity and jumped across on to the speedboat. All she could think of is she had to protect Mia

"Mia get down and stay in there" she called as a arm came around her throat and the cold hard barrel of a gun on her temple

Struggling she tried to free herself but her efforts proved in vain. She could feel herself being pushed forward then everything going dark.

Mike watched on from Hammersley feeling powerless and like he could do nothing.

"let's get there" he called staring out of the window. This is what he was afraid of happening. And now Kate was a prisoner on the speedboat and he was powerless to help her.

It seemed to take an age just to get to the co-ordinates and where Dutchy was.

"Charge?" he questioned

"we've lost all visual contact" he called his mind on his XO and hoping she was safe.

"the boat matches the description of one stolen from down south a few weeks ago. Top speed 55 knots range 200 miles. She can go where ever she likes" Ro called from the console

Biting down on his tongue Mike resisted the urge to say something he may later regret. He chose to ignore the comments it was not what he really wanted to hear right now. He just wanted to get Kate back safely.

"sir are we slowing down to launch the RHIBS for Dutchy" Swain called from the console. "Sir!" he called when Mike didn't answer.

Coming out of his own thoughts Mike looked out the window "slow ahead both engines" he called.

Heading from the bridge he needed a coffee to clear his head he found himself walking past the galley and down to her cabin. He wished he had stood his ground and made her stay on the ship she would be pissed off but at least she would be safe. Sitting on her rack he sighed he just hoped they could get to her in time. These kidnappers had already killed and that was just a member of Wantha's crew. Who knows what they would do if they found out Kates true identity and that she was in fact navy.

"CO request you come to the bridge" Swains voice echoed across the pipe.

Standing to leave his eyes were drawn to the box Kate had discarded on her desk the previous night picking it up he looked at it in disbelief. Why hadn't she told him and why had she pushed for going on this operation if she thought she was pregnant. Now he really had to find her and make sure she was safe. walking on to the bridge swain held out the phone

"commander white at NAVCOM sir" he said

"Maxine..."

Slowly Kate began to come round. Her head was thumping like a brass band was marching around in there and she was more than likely concussed, but she couldn't think about that looking round the cabin she saw Mia looking down at her with fear in her eyes.

"hey Mia its alright, everything Is going to be alright" Kate forced a smile as she pushed herself up

"no its not" Mia said quietly "you've got blood on your head"

Reaching up she could feel a small patch of drying blood on her temple "oh Mia" she shuffled across to the little girl brushing the tears from her face. "don't worry. My friends will be looking for us" she smiled reassuringly "now how long have I been here?" she asked

"i don't know. Not long"

"that's good" Kate smiled trying to stay positive

Pushing herself to her feet she began looking in every cupboard she could get open. Lifting the cushion, she found a life jacket. After eventually persuading Mia to put it on she continued to search for something. Anything that could help Hammersley find them. it was hard to keep her balance and she fell in to one of the cabinets. They were going fast, really fast which meant Hammersley would not be able to catch up but hopefully they could locate them. Pulling open one of the draws she smiled as she found an EPERB. Switching it on she had seconds to hide it before one of the kidnappers entered the cabin.

"what you doing?" he asked

"looking for tissues" she scowled pointing to the bloody patch on her head

"yeah well sit down" he growled turning heading back top.

Sitting down next to Mia she just hoped that Hammersley were listening out for anything and the EPERB would help.

**so I know I said I was splitting this bit in to two but I may have underestimated how much content there was to fill so I have split it again. next chapter they will get found. I also tweaked about the EPERB a bit as I always thought she was a bit dim to brandish it around instead of just activating it and hiding it. any how let me know what you think and I shall update soon x **


	5. Chapter 4

Mike sat staring out at the vast waters ahead of them. He felt helpless and the thought of her on the speedboat heading who knows where was sending his mind in to overdrive. Even with NAVCOM's promise they were doing all they could didn't put his mind at ease he still felt powerless and that they could be doing more.

"Sir Rescue coordination have picked up an EPERB signal. Its registered to the speedboat" RO called from the radio desk

"keep on it. I want updates every 2 minuets. We won't catch up but we can at least see where they are going. Maintain speed" Mike called sitting back in his chair.

Wrapping her arm around Mia's Kate held her close. They had been bouncing around for ages and were still traveling at a rate of knots, and still had not a clue of their fate.

"where are we going" Mia whispered

"i don't know sweet, I really don't know" Kate rested her chin on the young girl's head. Despite all her training and experience at sea she felt helpless. Being below she couldn't figure out which direction they were traveling in or their bearing all she could hope is that the EPIRB was doing its job and transmitting their signal and Hammersley was following it. That Mike would find them.

They suddenly came to a stop the boat bumping up on something hard which Kate recognise to be the beach, she had felt it in the RHIBS and this wasn't much different. Taking Mia's hand, they both stood as the one Kidnapper came down.

"where are we going" Kate asked trying to hide her fear from the voice.

"that's none of your concern Lady" he growled "Now Move" he waved the gun in front of her before pressing it hard in to her back pushing her forward

Jumping down on to the sands Kate lifted Mia down.

"come on" the Kidnappers growled pushing, both Mia and Kate forward and in to the thicket of the rainforest.

"Sir. The EPIRB has come to a stop and NAVCOM have just sent this satellite image through." he handed Mike the image. "it's the speedboat it's on Shark island now its normally closed to the public this time of year because its turtle breading season" Ro smiled

"let's get there. Top of the green. Charge give her all she has got" Mike called looking down at the image. He just hoped they would not be too late.

Tripping over the exposed tree roots and branches Kate tried to help Mia as best as she could despite being in pain herself. Her ribs hurt from where she was sent crashing down the steps and she had a stabbing pain in her side and back.

"how much further!" she demanded.

"oh do shut up" the Kidnapper turned brandishing his gun in her face.

"she is going to need food and water. Have you thought about that,"

"yeah well we are here" the Kidnapper grinned

Kate looked up to see a run-down wooden shack in front of them.

"Daddy" Mia cried loosening her grip on Kate's hand and running towards her stepfather.

"you!" Kate exclaimed a look of horror and disgust fell across her face. How could put his own daughter through this traumatic experience. "she is your daughter!"

"step-daughter" he corrected with a tone of arrogance in his voice. As both Kate and Mia were forced in to the cabin.

Looking around Kate knew they needed to escape and fast. He knew she was Navy and not a member of wantha's crew so she would be next on the hit list if they didn't get away. Climbing on to a old desk by the window Kate indicated for Mia to pass her a discarded chair. Softly she placed it down and climbed up to the window. There was a log store underneath which would make it easier to get down and out.

It was difficult to run through the undergrowth and matters were made harder with both kidnappers being on their trail and opening fire on them. The canopy was thick and not much light was breaching the trees.

"come on Mia" Kate said carefully pulling the girl forward trying to encouraging her to run.

"i can't, where's Daddy" she cried

"Mia you have to we have to get to the boat. Daddy's coming later" she said she had heard the gunshot and the thud that followed. All she knew is the boat would be safe and she could contact Hammersley.

Running on to the beach Mia screamed as the Kidnappers breached the undergrowth chasing them. Lifting Mia on to the bow Kate hauled herself up and helped Mia down the hatch.

"stay down there" she called as she made her way to the wheel.

Turning the key she spotted a flair gun which was the best thing she could use. Fumbling with the gun she pulled it out firing, hitting one of the kidnappers knocking him to the floor. The other launched himself on to the bow. Trying to spin the boat around he jumped over Kate landing funny. Seizing the opportunity Kate grabbed the bolt cutters they had so carelessly left on the boat. Swinging them around she hit him square in the face knocking him out cold, just as the RHIB approached

"X are you okay" Mike called as the RHIB came to a stop

"Just get on here" she called finally catching her breath, her adrenalin levels dropping, glad that Mike had come to her.

Kate sat on the hard table in the ward room as Swain shone his pen torch in her eyes watching her pupils reaction. Which he decided was normal.

"swain I am fine" she sighed at all this unnecessary prodding and probing.

"Ma'am you were knocked unconscious and we don't know how long for you could have a concussion" swain smiled

. "and I have just run through the jungle escaping 2 mad men" she raised her eyebrow as swain placed his hand on her side to check if she had cracked any ribs. "look I am fine. Nothing a shower and a strong brew won't cure" she forced a smile hiding the fact she was in pain

"okay" swain took a deep breath "take it easy till we get home" he looked at mike

"thanks swain. Could you give us a minuet?" he asked

"sure" swain said as he left the door closing behind him

"Kate..." Mike stepped closer to the rack

"Don't" she said yawning. "don't give me a lecture" she slid from the bed heading for the door

"what on possessed you to jump on that speedboat" he said grabbing her hand stopping her from leaving.

"i was protecting Mia. That was our priority" she glared at him

"but what if something had happened to you, if anything had happened to you..." he sighed thinking about everything

"i cant do this now " she shouted about to pull the door open

"KATE!" he called sharper than he had intended

Turning she looked at him. "this is not the time nor the place for this" she looked around the whole ship would be able to hear their argument. She choked back the tears "I need to get changed" she looked down at the uniform of Wantha's crew she was still in.

Heading down to her cabin she walked passed the juniors mess where Mia was sat chatting 19 to the dozen to 2-dads and Bird who handed her a huge glass of Milo. Smiling. Only time would tell if the last few days had left their mark on them. But at least for now she seemed happy and content.

Opening the door to her cabin she was glad to be back on the ship even with all the chaos and noise. Shutting the door, she leant against it finally everything overwhelmed her switching on the shower she stood under the water wanting to wash everything from the last few days away. Sliding down the wall of the tiny shower cubical, everything had gone wrong. She had been putting everything off now she had to bite the bullet face up to everything and be honest.

**so hope you enjoy. the next chapter will be purely fiction and show what happened after Mia left the ship and leading in to the prologue. hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think**


	6. Chapter 5

Kate sat at the desk in her cabin, they had been back in port for several hours and she was trying to write her report on the events of the last few days but every time she typed something, she quickly deleted it as it sounded so stupid. Normally she knew what to say and how exactly to say it but with this it was like the words were all there but she had no idea on how to get them down on paper.

A knock at the door brought her back in to reality.

"yeah" she called leaning back in her seat. "Dutchy" she smiled as the door opened "you not going to the pub with the others" she asked

"i am on my way there now just wanted to see if you were joining us?" he asked

"not tonight I need to finish this report" she smiled

"you okay X" he asked looking at her.

"Fine, nothing a few days curled up on the sofa with a bottle of red, box of chocolates and a really bad box set won't cure" she smiled weakly trying to ignore the pain radiating in her side.

"good. I umm also wanted to apologise. I should have had your back more, I should have done something. I am sorry" he began.

"Dutchy, you have nothing to be sorry about. The fault was mine. I made the decision to jump over. If you had reacted then there could be three more body bags being unloaded. Now go and enjoy your shore leave, and stop worrying" She smiled

"X" Dutchy smiled pulling the door closed behind him

Sighing Kate lent back in her seat. Most of the crew had left and the ship was deathly quiet. Her mind flashing back to the events from the previous day. A second knock at the door made her take a deep breath choking back the tears that were starting to from.

"yeah" she called softly

"Kate" mike opened the door stepping in in one stride

"Sir, I was umm just finishing that report for NAVCOM" she began typing haphazardly at the keys on the keyboard hoping he would not say what she knew he was going to say.

"Leave it for now" he said softly slowly pushing the lid of her laptop down. "we need to talk"

Sighing she turned in her seat to face him. "what is there left to say"

"Kate you put yourself in danger, you were unarmed and you had no protection"

"i was fine.."

"Kate they threw you down the stairs and knocked you unconscious." Mike said closing the gap between them

"and I was just doing my job Mike. This is the armed forces we put ourselves in the firing line every day."

"i know but"

"but nothing. Is this what it is going to be like, each time I go on a boarding each time I go on a mission"

"of course not its just I worry about you" he sighed

Looking around she couldn't bear to look at him in the eyes "i told you, you couldn't make this about us"

"i am not making it about us. But on the subject of us why didn't you tell me about this." He placed the box on the desk in front of her.

"what" she stared at it in disbelief. "You went through my things"

"no, still why didn't you tell me"

"it was none of your business" she hissed

"it is my business if my XO is pregnant and can not for fill her duties on my ship" he snapped. he paused for a few seconds realising what he had just said "Kate" he reached out to take her hand

Pulling her hand away "Well there is no need for you to worry Sir. It was negative" . Hurt she pulled her sea bag from the cupboard chucking it on to her rack. Resting her hand on the throbing pain in her side

"Kate?" mike called out concerned reaching out

"i am fine" she snapped "what on earth gave you the right to come in to my cabin and go through my stuff" she said shoving her things in to her bag

"it wasn't like that Kate. I was worried about you."

"so that makes it alright then does it." she snapped turning to face him

"of course not. But I thought I would never see you again and I hated it that we argued before you left. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you"

"i can't do this anymore. You come back on the ship without a second thought to us. You jumped at the chance to come back. It's clear where I come on your list of priorities and the ship always comes first..." she said sadly picking up her sea bag making for the door.

"Kate" he sighed following her out

Kate walked over the gangway and up the quay. They had docked several hours ago and after sorting out their passengers she could finally leave. She just wanted to go home and hide under the covers for the rest of shore leave.

"Kate!" Mike called running over the gangway towards her "wait" he called

Turning she pulled her sea bag up on to her shoulder "leave me alone Mike I am not in the mood" she sighed. He was the one she wanted to hide from. She turned and began walking away from him.

"Kate. Please" he called after her. "i love you" he stepped closer to her

His words were ripped by the wind stopping her in her tracks. Slowly she turned around, he was right behind her

"what did you say?" she whispered.

"i said. I love you" he whispered, there was barely a hairs breath between them.

"why do you keep doing this to me. It's not fair Mike, my heart can't take it anymore" she blinked back the tears that were starting to fall.

"Kate." he whispered "I..." he began unable to find the words. Placing his hand on her cheek he slowly brushed his thumb along her cheek bone wiping away the tears that were staining her cheeks. She let out a sharp intake of breath leaning in to his hand. How could something that was so wrong feel so right. she could feel his thumb brush across her lips and he leaned in, she could feel his warm breath on her face.

Pulling away she turned her head "I cant do this" she stammered turning and running up the dock leaving mike to watch as she disappeared in to the darkness.

Leaning against her car she doubled over as a sharp pain shot across her abdomen. Crying out in pain she slid to the floor unable to move.

"KATE!" Mike called running over to her after finally catching up

Crouching down in front of her, he carefully lifted her up and on to her feet. He looked at her she was pale and clammy and clearly in excruciating pain. "I'm taking you to the hospital"

"no" she said weakly before hissing with pain

"no arguments Kate. You can barely move and you are in pain"

She nodded in agreement as he said opening the passenger door and easing her carefully in to the seat and taking the keys from her hand. Shutting the door, he raced round to the driver's side. Climbing in he put the car in to gear and put his foot down. He just hoped she was okay.

**so hope you like it. a little of a sensitive subject but all will be revealed in the next chapter. hope you like it and please let me know what you think. xx and everyone stay safe with how nuts the world as gone **


	7. Chapter 6

Leaning back against the pillows Kate tried to hold back the tears as she listened to the doctor talking through everything to her but not quite taking it in.

"why?" she asked "was it because of my accident?"

Sitting on the edge of the bed the doctor sighed "what you have to remember is sometimes there just are no answers. These things can happen" he smiled "i know its not the most helpful of answers but its the best I can offer." he stood up "try and get some rest and I'll check in on you later"

"thank you" she whispered turning over the tears silently flowing.

Mike paced up and down the corridor on account of not being allowed in with Kate whilst the doctor was examining her and talking through everything, and as soon as they had arrived, she had been wheeled off for tests.

"Doctor, how is she?" Mike asked as the doctor exited the room

"Commander Flynn. Your medical officer was right there are no broken bones, and that's all I can really tell you" he went to walk away

"doctor please if there Is something else please tell me. Me and Kate …"

"there was something else. she sadly suffered a miscarriage"

"Sorry" Mike said puzzled

"Kate was around 8 weeks pregnant"

"thanks doctor" mike paused "can I go in and see her "

"only for a little bit, she needs her rest" the doctor said before walking away.

Quietly opening the door, he could see her curled up staring out the window.

"Kate?" he called softly as he approached her bed

Rolling over, as soon as she saw him she burst in to tears.

"hey" he whispered sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry" she whispered wrapping her arms around his neck sobbing in to his shoulder.

"shhh" he soothed running his fingers through her tangled hair.

Pulling back her eyes were red and blotchy. "i lied" she whispered "i was pregnant and I lost it" she began sobbing again.

"its okay" he said holding her close. He wished he could take away the pain she was currently feeling.

"but..." she began

"Kate, it wasn't your fault" she said shifting his position so he was sat beside her. She rested her head on his shoulder. And slowly she managed to stop crying on the outside

"sorry I lied" she whispered

"i know. i just wish you had told me or at least told me you thought you were pregnant"

"i did try, its just I was angry and hurt you came back on the ship after everything we had been through and I knew if I told you, you wouldn't allow me to go on the operation to save Mia"

"i'm sorry too, I know its not been easy with me coming back on board I am doing all I can to make it a short posting" he kissed the top of her head

Yawning she nestled down in to his arms fighting her eyes to stay awake.

"I'll let you get some sleep" he said softly moving his arm from around her and lowering her on to the pillow. curling up Kate began to snore softly. "sleep tight" mike whispered pulling the blankets over her shoulder.

Kate awoke the following morning Kate awoke to a clattering sound from the end of the bed. Stretching out she opened her eyes to see mike standing at the end of the bed holding the water cup that was on the table.

"Morning" he smiled

Pushing herself up on to her pillows she smiled "have you been there all night?" she asked already knowing the answer. His uniform was badly creased and he had the distinctive morning stubble on his chin.

"May be" he grinned "coffee?" he smiled changing the subject holding out a plastic cup to her.

"thank you" she smiled taking the cup and taking a thirsty sip. "that is rank" she gaged as the liquid hit her throat.

"yeah, sorry its only from the machine out in the hall" she said sitting on the chair next to her bed.

"it tastes like some sort of sludge..." she began

"and you have much experience of that do you Lieutenant McGregor" he grinned over the cup

"only the brown water they had the audacity to call coffee at ADFA oh and the coffee you make on the ship." she grinned

"I can make a mean cup of coffee thank you very much" he protested

"yeah its ether so strong it could stand a spoon in or just looks like a stain to make a pirate map with." she laughed "is there any chance of a decent brew?" she said hopefully

"sadly not, I don't think the café down stairs is open yet."

"bummer" she flopped down on the pillows "is it too much to ask for a decent brew, I feel like I have hardly slept" she sighed

"i know, you were tossing and turning like I don't know what"

"this bed is so uncomfortable, the racks on the old Hammersley were better than this. How we are supposed to rest and recover I will never know"

He laughed "come here" he sat next to her pulling her close trying to kissing her.

Pulling away she grinned "no way, not until you get rid of that face fungus"

"fine I will go get a shave. I'll be back later" he smiled heading for the door

"there is no need" she said knowing she wasn't going to win that battle.

Several hours later Kate was discharged. Unlocking the door to her apartment flopping down on the sofa she sighed

"brew?" Mike asked dropping her bag on the floor

"you don't have to stay, I can look after myself" Kate smiled

"i know but I want to look after you" he said sitting next to her.

"I'll do the coffee" she grinned "you can order us some food as my hospital breakfast was less than satisfactory and I am hank"

"Chinese?" he asked

"perfect" she smiled heading in to the little kitchen flicking the switch on the kettle. She sighed wishing this could last forever but, in a week, they would be back on the ship and have to keep a professional distance

**so here is chapter 6. hope you like it and please let me know what you think. and where ever you are in the world hope you are all alright in these crazy times, huge love to everyone and stay well and stay safe xxx **


	8. Chapter 7

Kate lay stretched out on the Sofa. She had been ordered to take it easy for a week or two by the doctors and Mike. Sighing she reached for her fifth or was it her sixth Tim-tam she flicked through the channels on the TV. She had forgotten how boring day-time tv was. Eventually settling on a history documentary, she dropped the remote on the coffee table.

She had just got comfy when her phone buzzed violently on the table in front of her. Reaching out she pulled her phone towards her

"Kate McGregor Hello" she said lazily

"Ah! Kate. Its Maxine White,"

"Commander White What is the problem?" she asked nervously sitting bolt upright

"yes. I was wondering if you could come in for a chat. Shall we say 1 hour. Good" Maxine said not really giving Kate a choice.

"Okay" Kate said unsure.

"excellent see you then" Maxine rang off

Leaning back, she sighed whatever Maxine wanted it probably was not going to be good. Heading upstairs she pulled her uniform from the wardrobe.

A hour later Kate walked through the corridors of NAVCOM. She came to a stop outside Mikes office, his name still on the door. She smiled remembering their conversation after he first got promoted. It was all a stark reminder of how everything had changed. She continued along the corridor coming to a stop outside Maxine's office. Taking a deep breath she knocked waiting to be called in.

"Ah Kate" Maxine smiled sweetly as Kate walked in.

"Ma'am" Kate stood in front of the desk. She hadn't felt like this since she was in high school and had been caught chained to an old oak tree that was going to be chopped down and the fire brigade had to be called to free her and a friend.

"i Just wanted to see how you were. I heard you had been rushed to hospital after you docked"

"yes, I am fine now though" Kate smiled puzzled

"it was a miscarriage wasn't it?" she asked clear that she already knew the answer

"Yes" Kate smiled through gritted teeth.

"it must have been hard" you could hear the mock sympathy in her voice. "but you will have to forgive me for asking, why didn't you inform navy about your previous condition"

"excuse me" Kate scoffed not quite believing what she was hearing

"you didn't tell fleet command you were pregnant" Maxine looked down at a file on her desk.

"that may be because I didn't know I was pregnant, until, the doctor told me I had lost it and that I was 8 weeks " she said fingers crossed behind her back

"i find that hard to believe Kate" Maxine lent forward

"Believe it or not, it's the truth, some woman can go the whole 9 months and not realise. There was a British soldier who served in Afghan, she went in to labour in the middle of Camp Bastian. Served most of her tour unawares she was pregnant"

"sounds like you have been doing her research"

"no not really its something I read a few years ago. There also has been cases of it happening with US navy personal of my memory serves me right. And I am sure if you look hard enough even our own defence forces has cases"

"yes well" Maxine paused "you should have been more careful shouldn't you, and I wasn't aware you were with anyone"

"well with respect Ma'am that really isn't any of YOUR business is it" Kate turned to leave

"Lieutenant McGregor where are you going?" Maxine called with a shrill voice clearly annoyed Kate was leaving

"to join a nunnery" Kate called over her shoulder.

Walking along the corridor it was a few moments before she could let her feelings out. She was frustrated and annoyed at what Maxine had said. Leaning against the wall she tried to compose herself.

"Kate?" Mike called walking up to her "what are you doing here you are supposed to be resting"

"yeah well Knocker called me in wanting a chat" she said "she found out about the miscarriage, though I have no idea how"

"Ah?" mike paused

"Mike?" Kate asked "what do you mean Ah?"

"well I may have mentioned something, he rubbed the back of his neck"

"Mike! Why on earth would you do that" she threw her head back in despair.

"believe it or not I was thinking of you. In case you weren't ready to go back or if we were crash sailed..."

"it wasn't your call to make Mike. Now you have given her another reason to hate me!" Kate sighed turning away.

"come on Kate she doesn't hate you"

"of course, she does otherwise why would she have said I had been sleeping around" Kate folding her arms

"she actually said that?" Mike asked

"well no not in as many words" Kate stammered "but she implied it"

"Kate you have been through a very traumatic time and..."

"i am not mad Mike" she wanted to stamp her foot

"no I know but maybe your over reading things."

"i am not. She basically said I got my just deserts for sleeping around. She is just waiting for me to slip up I know it"

"Kate she isn't. She was saddened when I told her what happened."

"why do you always take her side" kate asked furiously

"this isnt about sides. This is what I was worried about. You are clearly still..."

"if you say what I think your about to then stop. I am fine"

"Kate" Mike sighed

"oh go to hell mike" she called stalking off down the corridor.

Arriving at her car she put the key in the ignition turning it she stopped she could feel the wave of emotion she had supressed crashing over her in one go. Taking a deep breath, she put the car in to gear and headed home.

Opening the front door, she shut it behind her sitting on the sofa she finally allowed herself to cry. For what just happened, because she really wanted mike but couldn't have him, for the baby they had lost. She couldn't understand why mike had betrayed her in that way and why he would always take Maxine's side but never hers.

Closing her eyes, she heard a loud knock at the door. Ignoring it she didn't care who it was she didn't want to face people.

"KATE!" mikes voice called through the letter box "please I know you're in there open the door please"

Sighing she knew he wasn't going to leave and she didn't really want to give the neighbours something to gossip about

"what do you want mike" she said dryly as he walked in.

"i wanted to check how you were. You seemed distressed when you left"

"I'm Fine" she said bluntly folding her arms.

"really" he said closing the gap between them wrapping his arms around her pinning her arms to her side.

Shrugging him off she looked up in to his eyes. Why did they make her go weak at the knees? "you really hurt me. Knocker did really imply I was sleeping around."

"okay" he said softly "i believe you"

Moving her arms, she wrapped them round his waist. "i hate it when we fight" she whispered

"well there is always a upside when we fight" he grinned brushing her hair from over her shoulder.

Looking in to his eyes there was a glint shining in the low light "and what is that then" she grinned.

"i think you know" he whispered walking her backwards in to her bedroom

Giggling softly as she fell on to the sheets pulling him towards her. He was right this defiantly was a upside to them fighting and falling out. the making up was always fun.

**so hope you are all staying safe and are well in the current bonkers times we are facing. I now have no idea what I am doing as schools are closed so I am unable to work. I just hope the curse of writers block doesn't hit me. please let me know what you think of this and let me know. where ever you are in the world stay safe and be kind. huge love and I shall write soon xxx **


	9. Chapter 8

The following morning Kate awoke nestled in Mikes arms. sighing happily, she looked up at him, she could see he was still asleep. Shifting position, she lay on her side watching the slow rise and fall of his chest. Closing her eyes, she tried to get back to sleep.

She was just dozing off when Mikes phone rang loudly from the side and she felt the weight shift as he sat up swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

"Mike Flynn" he said softly thinking she was still asleep.

Grinning coyly Kate sat up, wrapping her arms around his waist. Slowly kissing along his shoulder trying to tempt him back under the covers. Seeing that it was working and she was getting to him she stepped her efforts up. Moving along to his neck.

Shrugging her off Kate fell back against the pillows as mike stood up walking away still on the phone.

"yeah okay. See you in a hour" Mike smiled hanging up.

Kate let out a frustrated sigh resting her head on her arm watching as mike began pulling his clothes on.

"that was Maxine. We've been crash sailed."

"ugh" she sighed "what's happened now?"

"i don't know. But I best get back to mine" he walked over to the bed. "i know no sense of timing" he muttered teasing her in to a kiss.

Sighing where had she heard that before it was becoming all too familiar, sliding from the sheets. She headed to her wardrobe, pulling out her uniform she lay it on the bed. "i suppose you want me to get to the ship sort everything and everyone out" she smiled weakly

Stepping closer Mike wrapped his arms around her waist puling her in. "thank you" he smiled planting a kiss on her forehead.

Kate stood on the quay watching as supplies were being loaded on to the ship.

"hurry it up guys we need to be out on time" she said looking at her watch.

She smiled as she saw mike walking up the quay towards them

"Sir" she saluted smiling. "so what's happening?" she asked

"Kingston has blown an engine so we have to go and finish her patrol" he smiled "how's everything here"

"fine. We are now fully supplied and ready to go.". she smiled heading to the gangway

"very good. Close specials X" he smiled

"Sir" she said walking towards the bridge.

"special duty seamen and cable party close up. State one condition voyage". Kate called before replacing the radio.

They had been sailing for a few hours when a mayday call came through.

"Sir I am getting a mayday come through. Boat identifies as the yacht poppy batch

"how long?" mike asked as Kate took the details from RO

"about 2 hours sir" she said imputing them in to the computer

"RO let them know we are on our way" Mike called as Kate gave the navigation orders.

2 hours later they were coming up on the coordinates. It was clear the yacht was in distress. Looking at the EOD image Mike could see it was a large family with several young children.

"Dutchy take Charge and 2-dads see what we need to do."

"what about the X?" Dutchy asked "shouldn't she..."

"just leave the X to me" Mike replied sliding from his seat.

"Sir" Dutchy replied still confused but a order was a order, maybe Mike knew something about Kate that he wasn't privy to.

Kate stood in the galley pouring herself a coffee. She smiled as Mike walked in.

"coffee" she asked reaching for a cup

"lovely" he smiled closing the gap that was between them

"have we still not found the poppy batch?" she asked they should have been coming up on the coordinates by now.

"no she is fine, very low in the water..." he smiled

"then why..." she cut him off but was cut off herself by the sound of the crane lowering the RHIB in to the water. Pushing past she made her way out on to the deck she watched as the RHIB bounced across the waves towards the badly sinking yacht. she saw mike following her out

Looking round making sure they were alone "what the hell mike, I should be over there I am the boarding officer" she hissed

"take a look" he handed her a pair of binoculars he had been holding

"what" she scoffed taking them looking over. "what am I supposed to be looking at all I see is a family. Mom, dad and several ankle biters.",

"yeah I didn't want to put you in that situation after you know." he said

"my miscarriage. Its okay mike you can say it. I am not going to crumble in a heap every time it is mentioned or every time I see a baby" she said. "i just need you to allow me to do my job and not wrap me up in cotton wool" she sighed pushing past heading to her cabin. She needed to clear her head and think.

Sitting in her cabin, she heard the RHIB be loaded back on to the ship. Knowing she was on watch soon and was needed on the bridge she sighed. Heading through the ship she could see the children in the junior's mess with 2-dads and bird poking her head round she made both bird and 2-dads jump

"Ma'am swain said to bring the kids in here whilst he was treating the wounds on the father..." Bird stammered

"its fine, so long as everyone is behaving themselves" Kate smiled

"they are Ma'am" 2 dads smiled

"i wasn't on about them" Kate grinned smiling at the children. "Kids you will have to let me know if they misbehave. Especially this one" she pointed at 2-dads "can you do that for me"

"yes" the children all laughed

"good. Carry on" she smiled heading out and on to the bridge.

She could be around children she just wished mike would give her the chance. Sitting in the captains seat she looked out at the waters. It was calm seas all the way back to base and as soon as they had let the family off and handed them to immigration for checks they had to head back out to finish the patrol. She just hoped that whatever was instore next mike would have his faith in her and trust her to make her own decisions.

**so this has taken me a while sorry about that. with everything going on then I have lost it a little. anyway hope you are all safe and please listen to the advice given. (rant over ) let me know what you think**

**huge love where ever you are its the only way we are going to get through this**

**Duckmadgirl xx **


	10. Chapter 9

Over the next few weeks, the crew faced a lot of drama. Between organ traffickers and mysterious islands at the centre of the drugs ring things were all a little too hectic. To make matters worse Mike had been sent to run a course at Jarvis bay for a few weeks. They were able to talk via Skype and phone calls but it wasn't the same it didn't do anything for the lack of intimacy or contact.

Walking over the gangway Kate looked at all the boxes still left on the side of the dock. "hurry it up guys we are already running behind." she called watching as the rest of the crew walked over bragging about the shore leave. She watched as RO walked up the dock.

"RO don't go aboard empty handed" she called checking what still needed to go aboard. Shaking her head at the amount that still needed to be stowed away.

Hearing a car slowly come to a stop behind her she turned, smiling as she saw mike get out of the front seat

"Sir" she saluted "how was Jarvis bay" she smiled just wishing this was not the way he was returning as she had missed him a lot whilst he had been away.

"not bad, "he smiled

"anyone interesting?" she asked

"there were a few bright and upcoming stars" he smiled

"well I am sure they appreciated your fountain of knowledge Sir"

The exchange between was awkward. Nether knew where to really stand or what to say

"well I have just come from commander Whites office. We are to steam through the night to Kurumba"

"very good Sir" she smiled as he took his bags from the sailor who had driven him down.

She watched as he walked over the gangway and on to the ship. Turning she heard another car pull up. Turning she could see it was Dutchy driving with a blond bombshell sat next to him. Jumping out Dutchy grabbed his sea bag as the blond tottered out on extremely high heels which made her legs look even longer. They seemed to go right up to her armpits.

"sorry to drag you away from all of that" she grinned

"its fine" he smiled back noticing that she had turned a shade of pink

"well we are due to sail in 30 minuets" she smiled as he walked off turning over her shoulder she watched as the woman now in the driving seat of Dutchy's car struggle to put it in to gear before she drove up the dock. It didn't take a genius that she was only in to him because of his job.

It was a fairly straightforward ride to Kurumba. Kate sat at the console with swain at the helm.

"so do you recon it was a rental?" she asked filling the silence

"the girl?" swain smiled

"the car!" she sighed half laughing realising it was a joke.

"well on a Bosuns salary probably"

Kate laughed "right swain" she looked at the charts, "Port 10 steer 1-5-7" she said

"port 10 steering 1-5-7 ma'am"

"we are making good speed; at this rate we should be in Kurumba by..."

She was cut off by a mayday call breaking through. Taking the radio from Swain she sighed "MV Takoola this is Australian warship Hammersley what is the nature of your mayday over" she said

Listening she sighed as she replaced the handset. This was going to cause big problems. "guess I will go wake the CO" she said sliding from her seat. She made her way through the darkened ship. Somehow, she actually liked this more. Stopping outside his cabin, she knocked softly. She heard as he grunted getting up clearly not happy at being disturbed. He opened the door a crack

"what is it x" he said

She could see even through the dark crack in the door he was only in his boxers, trying to stay focused "um mayday sir" she whispered, before getting the door shut in her face. She was taken back at this. Stepping aside she lent against the wall as he reopened the door

"brief me wall I get dressed "he said

"i boat carrying the refugees from the flood reign reports being rammed by another vessel. There are around 10 people on board"

"set a course, what time will we be there?" he said

"um first light" she replied

"well that doesn't give us much time" he said

Things continued to go not to plan. It was going to be one of those patrols. They were rescuing the crew of the mayday vessel when RO collapsed in pain. As it turned out he had major surgery and neglected to tell anyone. On a positive they found the cattle barge that was responsible for hitting the Takoola but the hijackers were long gone.

They arrived in Kurumba the following afternoon. Knocking on his cabin Kate smiled

"sir they have finished unloading the stores"

"good" he smiled looking between her and the file he was looking at. "tomorrow we need to set up housing" he smiled

"i was going to suggest we give the crew a night ashore" she smiled

"good idea. Make it so"

"and I will organise a duty watch i think you and I should go for a drink, we need to talk" she smiled

"i know a quiet little bar" he smiled

"Sir" she smiled as she left. She headed for the office drawing up the list for duty watch, she knew all of the crew wanted to go ashore but a watch had to be available. She was debating who to leave. Some was easy like Bird she was too young to go ashore. Leaning back in her seat she sighed loudly

"Penny for them?" Dutchy poked his head round he door.

"oh" she rubbed her eyes "just trying to sort out a duty watch. Boss has authorised a Cinderella leave." she smiled

"sweet" dutchy sat next to her. "i think 2-dads she stay on board he was the class clown again chucking cow pats all over the place yesterday"

"thanks, that's made my job easier" she smiled hitting print on the list.

"so which list am in on" he tried to get a look as the printer spat them out

"you will just have to wait and see" she smiled heading for the door pinning it on the notice board she heard the moans from 2-dads and the others selected to stay on board.

Heading in to her own cabin she pulled out a simple summery dress and a pair of healed sandles. After showering and changing she walked through the ship, stopping outside mike's cabin. Knocking she opened the door. "ready" she smiled

Looking up he was at a loss for words he stepped towards her brushing the hair from her shoulder running his thumb along her jawline.

Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the feeling of his fingers running across her skin. "mike" she whispered aware of their surroundings "we should get going." she stepped back

Walking through the streets it wasn't until they were a safe distance from the ship, they linked hands their fingers intertwined. They could be mistaken for an ordinary couple on a break in the north. Arriving at the bar Kate quickly pulled her hand away from Mikes as the crew called over.

"do you think we can make a excuse?" she said through the side of her mouth.

"i don't think we have a choice" he sighed walking over joining the others.

This was not how she wanted her night to be she had been hoping to talk to Mike to find out what was going on with Hammersley but that would have to wait for another day, they clearly were not going to get a quiet moment that evening.

**so this one is from the series (Rawhide) hope you like It. the next chapter will also be the episode and then I think I may flash forward again. hope you enjoy and let me know what you think. hope you are all okay where ever you are and coping with the various lockdowns. stay safe and I will write soon xx **


	11. Chapter 10

Kate sat at the bar with the rest of the crew. Sighing she wished it was just her and mike. Looking over Mike didn't seem to have a problem with their plans being ruined. He seemed quite happy talking with Dutchy and some of the other lads.

Downing the last of her drink she sighed looking at her watch debating whether to call it a night and head back to the ship or stay with the others

"do you want another drink X" bomber called

"umm just an orange juice this time please" she smiled looking over at Mike.

Leaning back in her seat she watched everyone interacting. Even RO who had isolated himself to begin with had joined the rest of them. Taking her drink from Bomber she smiled in thanks when her phone rang loudly in her bag making her jump. Pulling it out she was slightly concerned when she saw it was the ship calling.

"hello" she said nervously not sure of what to expect. "okay I am on my way back" she said standing up grabbing her jacket.

"where you going X?" Dutchy asked.

"back to the ship. Something has happened to 2-dads" she sighed looking over at Mike hoping he would say he would walk back with her. When that didn't happen, she turned heading for the door feeling a little annoyed.

"hold up X" Dutchy called "I'll walk back with you" he smiled downing the last of his drink

"thanks, Dutchy" she smiled as he caught up with her.

When they got back to the ship, they discovered that Bird had smacked 2-dads around the head with her torch after he had snuck up on her. Bird stood petrified outside the wardroom waiting to see what the damage was.

Kate lead Bird in to the mess to see what the hell happened.

"i am so sorry I didn't mean to hurt 2 dads I didn't know it was him" she stammered

It turned out she thought it was her Ex-boyfriend who she had seen hanging around on the dock earlier and had been stalking her until she had joined the gap program. Dutchy poked his head in and back out when he could see Kate and Bird talking. After comforting Bird and helping her with her next steps in being firm with the guy telling him how it was going to be she sent her to her rack to get some much needed sleep.

Walking along the passageway Kate walked in to Dutchy who had been in the other mess.

"everything alright?" he asked

"yeah" Kate half smiled rubbing the back of her neck able to feel the starts of a stress headache beginning.

"well 2-dads has a thick head"

"well that will teach him. Maybe he will think twice before playing any of his practical jokes"

"it happens on every ship ma'am" Dutchy laughed thinking of some of the jokes he played as a junior sailor.

"yeah well I don't intend on indulging them" Kate turned looking

"i have a favour. Can you keep an eye on Bird for me please? There seems to be an issue with an ex-boyfriend here in Kurumba"

"do you want me to..."

"no" she cut him off. "I think it is important she deals with it herself but"

"i won't intervene unless necessary then" he smiled.

"thanks" Kate smiled

"Night X" Dutchy looked at her

"goodnight" Kate half smiled walking through the ship heading out on to the deck the cool night air a welcome relief for how warm it had been. She could see the last of the crew that had been out on the town slowly dragging themselves back to the ship. As mike crossed the gangway, he smiled at her, turning away she headed inside, she wished they could just have had a moment to themselves but it wasn't meant to be. sitting on her rack she sighed everything had gone wrong it had been months and things were not improving. opening the draw, she placed her phone in for the night. Knocking some of the papers she found the pregnancy test from several months ago. Sighing this was a reminder that time was fast running out for her she needed to figure out what she wanted. Climb the ladder or take a shore post and become a mum which she so desperately wanted to do.

The following morning was the same as the previous day. There wasn't much left for them to do apart from finishing with the vaccinations and helping set up the generators then they were okay to depart. Leaning against one of the crates Kate watched the crew walk over the gangway heading to their details. Mike walked towards them talking with the harbour master.

Walking over he smiled. "All sorted. Harbour master is happy for us to remain alongside until we have finished our details."

"good" she smiled looking down her list.

"it may be a chance for a cup of coffee?" he asked reaching out touching her arm,

Looking at him she shook her head. "no thanks" edging round walking past him.

"is something wrong?" he asked

Stopping in her tracks she turned "you know there is" she sighed

"cant we just have a coffee?" he asked

"i know what I want. Do you know what you want?" she asked

"yeah a coffee" he smiled

Sighing on the inside she looked straight at him. "Mike I am 35 years old. I want to solve the direction of my life. I need to decide whether I am going to push forward with my career and become a CO or whether I am going for marriage and children and a shore posting. Ethier way it is decision time" she sighed

"what a time to spring this on me" he said softly

"you said the situation was going to last weeks. It's been months and still nothing has changed"

"they haven't found anyone yet" he said

"look I know you want to stay on as CO of Hammersley and that is and I get it ." she half smiled "i just wanted you to know how I feel" she shrugged walking away. "enjoy your coffee" she called walking away.

Watching as she headed back on to the ship, he smiled to himself more than anything he wanted to be with her but his hands were tied with the regulations. It was a double-edged sword. It was getting harder and harder even when on shore to keep things on the down low.

They arrived back in home-port the following morning. It had been a productive ride home and they managed to apprehend the cattle rustlers. Walking on to the Deck Kate hung back watching mike as the rest of the crew walked off the ship and up the dock.

"RO seems to have made some friends" he smiled as she stepped towards him

"team player after all" she smiled stepping up over the gangway

"Kate" he called

"Yeah" she called turning

"i thought about what you said. I guess RO isn't the only one who had been self-absorbed"

"look I know you're not ready to give up Hammersley and I can see how important it is to you"

"so what do we do" he asked.

"just be professional as always" she smiled the wind catching her hair

"and marriage, kids?" he asked

Smiling he had listened and heard her. "it does take two you know" she finally felt that she was getting somewhere. "enjoy your shore leave" she said turning walking towards the dock. She hated the way she had said things earlier she didn't want to pressure him but she also wanted him to understand and all good things come to those who wait she had waited 8 years what was a few more months. She just hoped it would be months.

**hope you enjoy this again is mainly from rawhide with my own little twist on things. I think I may only have a few more chapters left as I am fast losing the will. please continue to stay safe xx **


	12. Chapter 11

Kate lay staring at the dark ceiling. Her mind going over and over everything that had happened over the last few weeks and months. Looking at the clock on the side she could see the time ticking away slower than ever. It was just after midnight and it felt like she had been lying there for ages. Closing her eyes, she just willed sleep to come...

Her eyes shot open filled with fear, gasping for air she tried to erase the horrors burnt on to the back of her eyes. She could feel the heat generated from the explosion and smell the explosives in the air. Looking over she could see Mike asleep next to her. Reaching out she went to touch his hair. Getting within inches she hesitated pulling her hand away afraid that it would just confirm it was all a dream, her mind playing a cruel trick on her. Sliding from the sheets she crept across the room out in to the main living area.

Pulling herself up on to the windowsill she stared out of the window looking at the moon as it glistened on the water. The silvery glow of its reflection broken on the waves. It was magical she just wished it would grant her the one wish and be able to turn back the clock.

"Kate?" mike called walking up behind her

Turning slowly, she saw him stood there the moon casting its eerie glow on him, making his wounds even more visible it made the tears flow down her cheeks even more.

"hey what's wrong" he whispered sitting up next to her

Reaching out she ran her fingers along his bruised jaw and the cut across his lip. "I'm so sorry" she whispered. "I should never gone off on one. I didn't mean it about a transfer"

"I know. I shouldn't have said what I said about the list. Although most of them were"

"I would have hated it if anything had happened and we had parted on an argument"

"come here" he held his arm out to her.

Dropping her legs over she shuffled along the ledge leaning in to his embrace

"your froze how long have you been sat there?" he asked

"what time is it?" she asked

"half 3" he smiled

"then a few hours, I got out of bed just after 1" she yawned slightly

"come on let's go back to bed" he jumped down.

nodding she pushed her self down off the ledge following him back in to the bedroom. Climbing back under the covers she instantly felt warmer wrapping her arms around him she didn't want to let go.

"Mike" she whispered in to the darkness "I love you"

"I love you too" he said kissing the top of her head

She awoke later with the sun streaming in through the window reaching out she could feel the space next to her empty. Sitting up in alarm she looked around the room. She hadn't dreamt the previous night, had she? Throwing back the covers she dashed out in to the living room she saw mike stood in the Kitchen. He turned and smiled when he saw her.

"Kate, I was going to bring this for you " he said holding up a mug

"thank you" she smiled trying to hide the fear she had just felt. Walking up to him she wrapped her arms round his waist. "I love you" she smiled looking up in to his eyes. "why don't we take these back through and snuggle under the covers?" she grinned

"that sounds like a plan" he smiled teasing her in to a kiss, "although I am going to have to go in to NAVCOM later." he said softly

"do you have to" she pulled away. "cant you just say your ill." she grinned "i mean you are recovering from being kidnaped, tortured and held hostage" she grinned

"i know but Maxine wants a debrief. The sooner the better. I will be a few hours tops and then we can enjoy some leave. Maybe head south for a few days we could go to Sydney?" he said pulling her in to his arms

"that sounds good." she grinned. A few days of sun and escape from life was just what they needed they could be together and not have to worry about anyone from the ship or command seeing them. "what time is your meeting then?" she asked

"noon" he smiled looking down at his watch. "so we may have to take a rain check at going back to bed."

"fine" she sighed once again it felt like Maxine was coming first that and the job. She knew he loved Hammersley, he had been the CO for so long and she didn't want to make him choose but she also didn't want to come in second to a boat it felt like the ship would always come first.

After hearing the door close, she opened up her laptop looking at the letter she had been typing the other day. Should she cut her losses and run, save her heart from any more pain and hurt or should she wait out he wouldn't be the CO of Hammersley forever, NAVCOM were looking for are replacement. And she had come to love being on the patrol boats, being part of a family that always had your back who were always there for you. Shutting the lid down she couldn't make her mind up it was tough she would more than likely be sent to a new base and would have to start all over again something she didn't really want to do. She just hoped NAVCOM would sort everything out before she had to take matters in to her own hands.

**so this chapter 11 and I am not entirely happy but I am just slowly losing the thread with this. in case you hadn't have guessed this is set after the season 4 finally. hope you like it, the next chapter I will be skipping past season 5 and showing the aftermath and who got Hammersley. enjoy and let me know what you think. xx **


	13. Chapter 12

Kate sat on her rack staring at the box in front of her. Taking a deep breath, she decided to take the bull by the horns and grabbed the box heading in to the little bathroom adjoining her cabin. Returning moments later she sat down at her desk her eyes drawn to the photos pinned up behind the desk. One was of the day Mike had proposed on the deck of Hammersley. It was also the day she found out that she was becoming the CO of Hammersley and mike was returning to his shore posting. Smiling she looked at the rings on her finger remembering how happy she had been on both days. They had got married in a small and intermate ceremony at the chappal at HMAS Watson, where they had first met. Turning she looked at the timer on her phone it was counting down with only 30 seconds left.

Drumming her fingers on the desk in frustration she wished time would hurry up. She just wanted to know now.

"CO request you come to the bridge" a voice echoed across the pipe

Sighing she headed out and up to the bridge, things would have to wait.

"What is in Nikki?" she smiled as she walked up. She was glad to have Nikki back on Hammersley as her XO.

"20 minuets till we're in Cairns Ma'am"

"thanks Nikki" she smiled sitting in the captain's seat looking out at Cairns harbour which was just edging in to view.

Once they had pulled alongside and all the checks had been made Kate watched as the crew made their way over the gangway all in high spirits with a week's shore leave to look forward to.

"Bye boss" Nikki called waving from the dock

Heading down to her cabin Kate quickly changed in to her shore uniform before gathering up the papers she needed to take to NAVCOM. Her hand brushed over the pregnancy test from earlier, lifting it up she looked at the display. Reading the words, she smiled before putting it in her bag.

Heading over the gangway she made the short walk to NAVCOM. Stopping outside his office she knocked waiting for an answer.

"enter" he called. Looking up he smiled when he saw it was her. "Kate"

"Sir" she said walking towards his desk. "the reports from Hammersley" she said handing him the folder.

"Thank you" he smiled taking it from her. "how was it out there" he asked

"if I didn't know you better, I would say you were jealous" she grinned

"whatever gave you that idea" he laughed

"it was fine. Same old stuff FFVs without any evidence and ice boats just out of reach" she sighed as he began leafing through the folder. "there was one other thing Sir" she said chewing her bottom lip his eyes didn't leave the papers. "i am going to need a transfer" she said

"who wants to transfer off?" he asked

"Me..." she said

"what why?" he asked. He thought she loved being CO of Hammersley she had wanted it for so long.

"its just a shore posting and it will only need to be for 18 months 2 years at the most" she grinned waiting for the penny to drop with mike.

"what" he said finally getting the picture. Walking round so he was sat in front of her

Smiling she nodded her hand falling against her stomach. "I'm Pregnant Mike"

"really" he crouched down next to her placing his hand on hers

"yeah" she nodded smiling

"how, when" he stammered still trying to take it in.

"do I need to draw you a diagram, I am pretty sure you were there" she grinned "as for when I am sure it was when we went swimming that night in Tahiti on honeymoon. I mean I do need to see the doctor the home tests are not 100% but I am 99.9% sure its true"

"that's amazing" he said wrapping his arms around lifting her up. Placing her back on her feet he pulled her close kissing her.

"Mike" she whispered "you still don't have any curtains, people are watching" she said

"well if I can't kiss my wife after she returns from sea and has made me the happiest man alive when can I "he grinned

"okay" she smiled "what time will you be back home?" she asked

"as soon as Bundaberg arrives back." he smiled "should be later this evening. I'll bring home dinner. Chinese or pizza"

"see you later then" Kate smiled leaning in kissing him. "Chinese. only don't get anything too spicy you know I don't like it" she grinned.

Once home she dumped her sea bag on the floor in front of the washing machine, she would sort it later changing out of her uniform in to a simple maxi-dress. Taking her book, she headed out on to the veranda sitting in the sun looking out on to the water.

She awoke with a start with mike sitting next to her.

"hey" she smiled groggily "what time is it"

"just after 7. Dinner is on the counter." he smiled

"good I am starving" she followed him in to the living room.

He handed her a plate, "lemon chicken and boiled rice" he smiled

"perfect" she said sitting down. "I have made an appointment at the doctors for tomorrow, to you know confirm that I am pregnant. Can you come with me?"

"of course, you don't even have to ask" he smiled "what time is it?"

"10 o'clock." she smiled

"I'll be there." he smiled back

Lying in bed Kate looked over to where mike lay. It was typical when he was on the ship he was a light sleeper but since taking up the shore posting he slept like a log and could sleep through a tornado. Sliding from the sheets she tip-toed in to the bathroom. Putting on the light she looked in the mirror. She couldn't see any sign of a little bump but if the home test was right, she couldn't be any further than 12 weeks. Resting her hand on her stomach she hoped it was true after everything they had been through. At one point she didn't think they were going to make it. After NAVCOM had extended his posting by a year she ended it because she thought the ship meant more to him than her. But he was the only one she could ever see herself marrying and growing old with. It took a proposal from a old flame for her to see that. Hearing mike stir she turned the light out and tip-toed back across settling under the covers she smiled in the dark. She couldn't wait to see what the future held and to meet their baby.

**so this was set after the season 5 finally, hope you enjoy. I may have one more chapter left a epilogue set in the future. hope you enjoy and let me know what you think. x **


	14. epilogue

Kate stood leaning against the counter watching Mike playing with their Daughter Sovay. She couldn't believe how fast the last year had flown by and they were celebrating Sovay's first birthday. She was still on her shore posting and was due to take back command of Hammersley in the next couple of months and Mike had been promoted to Captain not long after they found out about the pregnancy. It had been a tough time with Kate suffering with extreme morning sickness most of the time. Topping it all off was Sovay making her grand entrance in to the world 9 weeks early.

Carrying a couple of plates over to the table she placed them down in the little space there was. Looking at the cake she had placed in the centre, it was a fairly simple cake with building blocks spelling out Sovay's name little rubber ducks and a tiny boat as well.

"do you think we have enough food?" Kate asked as Mike walked over

"Kate there is enough on that table to feed Hammersley for a month and I know there is more in the fridge not to mention the barbeque stuff. It's fine" he laughed standing next to her as Sovay reached out wanting to be in her mother's arms.

"Saying that. Are you going to sort out the barbeque?" she asked

"calm down Kate we have time" he laughed pulling her close "it's going to be fine"

"I know but..." she stammered

"why don't you and Miss Sovay go and get ready, I'll finish up here" he smiled

"thank you" Kate smiled wrapping her free arm around him kissing him

She returned an hour later carrying Sovay who was in a cute blue and white dress and sailor hat. She didn't look too happy having her photo taken trying to remove the hat. Sitting down next to Nikki who immediately plucked Sovay out of Kates arms sitting her on her own lap bouncing her up and down.

"so when you coming back on Hammersley? We miss you" Nikki asked smiling down at Sovay.

"i don't know if i want to. I mean I miss being out at sea but I know I will miss this little monster screaming her lungs out at 3 am every morning as well. I still have a month left of leave"

"please come back" Nikki fluttered her eyes "i want my best friend back"

"we will see" she laughed

Leaning back in her seat she couldn't believe how quickly time had flown she could remember the events of this day the year previous like it was yesterday and now her baby girl was happy healthy and thriving and had the biggest family a girl could ask for.

Walking over to Mike who was stood by the Barbeque she reached out gripping on to his arm

"Kate? You okay?" he asked helping her stand back upright

"yeah just went a little dizzy" she smiled weakly

"you sure your okay?"

"i am fine. Its just I haven't felt like that since..." she paused her mind counting everything back

"since when?" mike asked concerned this pause was worrying him.

"oh god" she paused gripping his arm "since I was pregnant with Sovay" she looked up at him hoping he could figure out where her mind was heading.

**so this is it. hope you have enjoyed. Sovay is a really unusual way of spelling sophie (and was the title of one of my fave books as a teenager) sorry it is short but I really want to get this out to you all asap. hopefully I can come up with another idea soon so I have something to kill time with on this lockdown here. huge love and please stay safe. x**


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